What legacy for your child are you creating? (5 priceless legacies to leave!)

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Since becoming a mom, I’ve thought A LOT about the kind of legacy our family is creating for our son.

Perhaps you can relate to these questions about the children you’re raising or the younger generation in your life:

• What will they remember most about their childhood?
• What tools do they need to navigate the world as a child, teen, and adult?
• Will they be confident in their identity as God’s beloved child?

Are these questions daunting?

Totally.

But… they can also empower you to get real about the kind of life you’re living… and the kind of life you want to live.

Hopefully, the suggested legacies below inspire you to think about what kind of impact you want to leave – and what growing you’ll need to do for that to be a real possibility.

You can live intentionally with passion and purpose as God’s beloved.

Realities to accept

When it comes to leaving a legacy with our children or others, we have to accept reality. A few of those realities include:

• The legacy you want to leave may require some serious growth in your own life. Often, the qualities we want others to have are ones that we personally struggle with and need to be stretched in.
• Each individual is their own person. They’re going to experience life in their own way, not ours – even if we have similar personalities, preferences, etc.
• They’re going to make their own choices – whether we like them all or not.
• We can tune in to opportunities – it doesn’t mean those will be the memories that they remember.
• They’re going to pick up their own messages along the way – whether or not those are what we’re intending to pass on. (Here is some Enneagram information to consider about the messages we hear as kids.)
• We will fail them. In countless ways that we won’t even be fully aware of. We’ve got to accept that perfection isn’t the goal. Moving toward growth and humility is the goal.

Now that we’ve talked about what we can’t control, let’s dig into some legacy ideas!

A legacy for your child: Pointing them to Christ

Ultimately, kids will make their own choices. It’s not your job to dictate whether or not they choose to walk with Christ. What we are called to do is point them to Christ.

Pretty regularly I pray this simple prayer:

We can’t do this in our own power. We never could. What we can do is humbly come to God each day and ask for wisdom to live a life that honors Christ. If our lives are centered around God, that will impact every single other aspect of our lives, including how others experience Christ.

Isn’t that incredible?!

Here are some ideas to ponder about your job is to model your own relationship with Christ – not ensure they have a relationship with Christ.

For more encouragement about this idea, read 3 Encouraging Truths to Remember When Putting Yourself Out There is Scary.

A legacy for your child: Confidence in their unique identity

I think most of us can resonate to some degree with the feeling that we’re not quite who others want us to be. Perhaps it’s your parents, spouse, family, friends, boss, or whoever.

It’s all too clear at times that if others had their way – we would be different in some respects. They would live our lives differently.

(Head’s up! This isn’t about moral issues, like stealing, lying, murder, etc.)

Let’s be honest – it hurts when you realize you’ll never measure up to someone else’s expectations – whether or not they’re realistic or aspirational.

A legacy we can strive to give our children is security in the idea that they are exactly who God designed them to be. They’ve been gifted with a great privilege and responsibility to steward that well – by growing, learning, and enjoying that gift.

May we pray to support our children in leaning into who they’ve been designed to be and not trying to mold them into our own preferences and plans.

Of course, we’re called to discipline, guide and mentor our children. But trying to mold them into our own image by minimizing or ignoring the strengths God has given them? That’s not our job. They’ve already been made into God’s image – that’s more than enough.

What a privilege and responsibility it is to speak life over and over again about who they are and whose they are!

To quote one of my son’s favorite songs, “Speak life!” (TobyMac).

For more encouragement, read 3 Powerful Truths to Focus on When You Think You Don’t Have What it Takes.

A legacy for your child: They are needed (and so are other people!)

In some ways, this legacy is pretty similar to the idea of leaning into their unique identity, but just a step further – not only does their unique design matter but they’re also called to do something with it.

Let’s speak into our kids’ lives that they have an impact, an influence, to make that only they can make. We need them to play their important roles in God’s story.

That also means valuing that everyone else matters, too. We need other people to play their roles, too. The world doesn’t revolve around any of us, nor should it.

At times, each of us struggles with the uncertainty that what we’re doing even matters. Heck, sometimes, even if WE matter.

Throughout Scripture, God speaks truth over us: You are wanted, You are needed, You are important.

We are all called to play unique roles in an extraordinary story that is so far beyond our comprehension. Isn’t that exciting?!

The song, Who You Say I Am by Hillsong Worship is such an excellent reminder of what this means for each of us.

A legacy for your child: Conflict resolution skills

If you’ve read Coffee Chats and Yoga Mats for even a short time, I’m sure it’s painfully obvious that interpersonal conflict is my personal kryptonite. It brings me to my knees every single time. (Talk about frustrating!)

Ever Been Smacked in the Face With a Painful Memory?

Obviously, I need more adept conflict resolution skills for my own well-being. #notanexpert

Enter the importance of taking positive proactive action! How taking positive proactive action can create peace

Then I think about the precious little boy who trusts me and depends on me, and my motivation to grow in this area skyrockets.

What is my child learning from me? How will they learn to navigate conflict from their mom and dad?

You can probably relate!

What if the children in our lives became the kind of individuals who have a healthy understanding of who they are and whose they are so they can address conflict with grace and truth?

What if they learned how to recognize unhealthy behavior – whether it’s their own behavior or someone else’s?

Imagine them learning how to set healthy boundaries for their well-being and those of those they love – even if that means he needs to set a boundary with their own parents.

As parents, it’s vital that we continue to learn how to better navigate conflict, set boundaries, and have hard conversations. We must learn how to be humble and admit when we handled something poorly and be truly committed to growing in this area.

Gosh, just imagine, what the world would look like if we all strived to navigate conflict with grace and truth?

A legacy for your child: Learning to defeat evil with good

Oye ve, of the many things I care about – this is one I struggle with most. I’ve written many times about black hole thought loops.

Imagine your child learning how to defeat Satan’s voice with the truth. To be able to recognize the voice of truth over lies.

What a game-changer!

Posts related to what legacy for your child are you creating

• How taking positive proactive action can create peace
• Start Advocating for Yourself. Be brave. Speak up in small ways.
• 3 Powerful Truths to Focus on When You Think You Don’t Have What it Takes
• Try these 4 Mindset Shifts to Fight Back Black Hole Thoughts
• 3 Encouraging Truths to Remember When Putting Yourself Out There is Scary
• Ever Been Smacked in the Face With a Painful Memory?
  

Wrapping up what legacy for your child are you creating

Obviously, this post could go on and on about the kind of impact we could leave on our children.

But, for now, these ones come to mind:

1. A legacy for my child: Pointing him to Christ
2. A legacy for my child: Confidence in his unique identity
3. A legacy for my child: He is needed (and so are other people!)
4. A legacy for my child: Conflict resolution skills
5. A legacy for my child: Learning to defeat evil with good

Ultimately, I’m sure that both you and I long to speak life over our kids about who they are and whose they are.

We want to foster opportunities where they’re surrounded by life-giving truth.

That it’s okay to fail and get up again.

That your mistakes don’t need to define you.

All of these big ideas mean that we have the great privilege and responsibility to engrain these truths in our hearts and live it out. Each day. Whether or not someone younger is watching us. It’s exciting, daunting and so worth it. These legacies matter.

After all, each of us is God’s beloved. By the grace of God, we can live intentionally!

What about you? What kind of legacy do you want to leave for those you love? What’s missing from this post? Let’s talk in the comments!

P.S. Want some crazy simple steps to start living intentionally? Grab the Embrace Your Potential Playbook. It’ll help you zoom in on your God-gifted personality and give you practical tips to be more intentional, passionate, and purposeful as God’s beloved so you can become the best version of yourself.

cort.k.loui

Cortney is a Christian life coach and recovering over-achiever who is passionate about helping Christian women embrace who God created them to be so they can confidently step into any season of life with passion, purpose, and peace. She’s also an ENFJ, MBTI® coach, M. Ed in College Student Development, Pilates and Yoga teacher, wife, mama, and entrepreneur. In her pre-kid life, she coordinated programs for, coached, funded, and provided leadership training for more than 60+ student organizations and 100s of university students for 7+ years. (Helping people highlight their inner awesomeness and reach their goals is her jam!)

More importantly, she’s God’s beloved.