Take these 4 Powerful Steps to Fight Back Against Black Hole Thoughts

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Tell me that I’m not the only one who struggles with “black hole” thoughts that suck you into their powerful vortex of negativity and pain. Getting out of those thoughts takes a herculean effort of mindset shifting (and typically a lot of ragged emotions!).

It hit me recently that these demoralizing, soul-sucking thoughts aren’t from God.

I know – what?! How painfully obvious (and too easily forgotten).

And… when have I ever bounced back from black hole thinking and thought, “What an amazing way to spend my day! I feel so much better!”

Never.

If you don’t read any further than this sentence, I want you to know this – black hole thoughts are not from God. He didn’t intend you to beat yourself and others up.

You can live intentionally with passion and purpose as God’s beloved.

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Let’s dive in!

Definition of black holes

Wait – why am I calling these thoughts black holes?

Here’s a handy definition:

Sometimes we have thoughts that are akin to black holes – thoughts so powerful and negative that they suck us in and block out the light.

Note: I’m not an expert on this, though I am an avid re-reader of General Relativity for Babies by Chris Ferrie. (Tot approved!)

A little boy eagerly declaring, “Shrink a mass! Shrink a mass!” pops up every time I think about black holes...

That doesn’t happen for you, too? Weird…

Some light reading to catch you up briefly on black holes and such…

Head’s up! I’m not an expert in depression

Before we too in-depth about this topic, you need to know that I’m not a licensed counselor or psychologist.

This post may be helpful for addressing some concerns, but not all of them.

If you’re struggling with recurring dark thoughts and depression, please seek out professional help.

You’re worth it.

When black hole thoughts creep in…

These black hole thoughts can creep in at any time, but especially when you’re navigating conflicts or changes in seasons of life.

These thoughts move in like an unwanted roommate who you can’t seem to kick out.

They’re constantly repeating unhelpful feedback and you just can’t seem to shut them down.

When have these thoughts ever made life more awesome?

Let’s face it – never.

Perhaps you too, realize that you need to change your thought life habits.

Something has got to change to give your black hole roommate the boot.

But you can, by the grace of God, give those black hole thoughts the beatdown.

The black hole thought cycle

You know the cycle:

1. Black hole thought about X pops into your head

2. You tell yourself, “Stop thinking about X!”

3. You seek a distraction. X seems to go away…

4. Distraction ended. X is back!

5. You feel irritated and ashamed for thinking X again. Repeat, starting at step 3.

How do you get out of that nasty loop?

Let’s revisit our triggers, side effects and potential core messages that may play a role in this negative thought cycle.

1. Identify your triggers for black hole thoughts

Take a moment and think about much time and energy you give to black hole thoughts.

I’ve given them an embarrassing amount of my attention.

Typically, they’re triggered by any or all of the following:

• A disagreement or blow-out
• Physical pain that won’t seem to go away
• Painful memories that creep in

Does anyone else think this list looks remarkably similar to what triggers anxiety? I mean… c’mon.

By the way, check out this amazing talk about anxiety by Christ’s Church of the Valley.

2. Clue into the side effects of black hole thoughts

Here’s some of the side effects of when I get in black hole thought space. Perhaps you can relate?

• Lost appetite
• Can’t seem to sleep
• Physically drained
• Lose motivation to focus on higher level priorities
• Seek distraction (sometimes healthy, sometimes not)
• Want to talk it over and over and over again
• Steals my attention and present-ness from those with me
• Can’t seem to get my mind off the situation/problem/thought cycle

3. Get clear on your core issues connected to black hole thoughts

A lot of this boils down to core negative beliefs about ourselves.

Here’s a few “I am’s” from Psychology today:

• Inadequate.
• Unlovable.
• Weak.
• A failure.
• Not enough.
• Pathetic.

Oof – do you feel this hard-hitting, soul-sucking messages, too?

3. Take positive proactive action to loosen black hole thoughts’ power in your life

For me, some of these black hole thoughts were regarding recurring issues that I’d been stewing on for years.

I finally realized that I needed to own what was my responsibility and start communicating accordingly.

My heart quaked in fear as I took some small, scary and healing steps.

You know what? Finally taking the plunge and doing what I knew I’d needed to do (again, for years!), was so liberating.

In other words, I need to take some positive proactive action.

Whatever it is, taking that small step is so brave, so scary and so worth it.

4. Fight back black hole thoughts with truth about WHO you and are WHOSE you are

Going to God should be our first order of business. Sometimes it takes me far too long to realize that!

Taking positive proactive action was so healing, but they didn’t entirely stop the black hole thoughts from creeping in.

They weren’t quite as harsh as before I took action, but they were definitely still there.

I needed a powerful, simple Scripture to slam down every time thoughts thoughts came creeping in.

Enter Romans 12:21.

Sometimes it’s easy to assume that these black thoughts are from God – He wants you to work out your issues.

Does God want you to pursue healthy, thriving relationships? Yes!

Does He want you to take ownership of your sins, confess and turn to Him? Yes!

Does He want you to feel like crap because that gives Him pleasure? No!

The Holy Spirit will point you to Him. He’s not going to do that through shaming you.

Two resources to help you start incorporating these tips in your life

Articles related to fighting back black hole thoughts

• How taking positive proactive action can create peace
• Start Advocating for Yourself. Be brave. Speak up in small ways.
• Ever Been Smacked in the Face With a Painful Memory?
• What Have You Accepted as Normal – that you shouldn’t?

Recapping the mindset shifts to help with black hole thoughts

Black hole thoughts suck the joy out of your life and make it harder to be fully present.

You can defeat some black hole thoughts by:

1. Note what’s triggering you. If you can name it, you can claim it.
2. Tune into the message you’re telling yourself. More often than not, that message is false. Articulate what that message is so you can defeat it.
3. Identify and take a proactive, healthy action you can take to reduce the hold of your black hole thoughts.
4. Dwell on your true source of power and grace – your loving Creator. Pick a Scripture to dwell on that reminds you of the truth about yourself – defeat that false message!

Rather than letting yourself go down the rabbit hole of guilt and shame, give that black hole thought the smackdown with Romans 12:21.

These thoughts aren’t from the Holy Spirit. He wants me to pursue wholeness and peace.

He wants the same for you.

You can live intentionally with passion and purpose as God’s beloved.

So Friend, what is one positive proactive action you can to start becoming more free of your black hole thoughts?

Do it. Take that bold scary small step.

P.S. Want some crazy simple steps to start living intentionally? Grab the Embrace Your Potential Playbook. It’ll help you zoom in on your God-gifted personality and give you practical tips to be more intentional, passionate, and purposeful as God’s beloved so you can become the best version of yourself.

cort.k.loui

Cortney is a Christian life coach and recovering over-achiever who is passionate about helping Christian women embrace who God created them to be so they can confidently step into any season of life with passion, purpose, and peace. She’s also an ENFJ, MBTI® coach, M. Ed in College Student Development, Pilates and Yoga teacher, wife, mama, and entrepreneur. In her pre-kid life, she coordinated programs for, coached, funded, and provided leadership training for more than 60+ student organizations and 100s of university students for 7+ years. (Helping people highlight their inner awesomeness and reach their goals is her jam!)

More importantly, she’s God’s beloved.