She wanted to become the best version of herself -> stop worrying, start thriving

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Hi there! beloved Reader!

As promised, it’s story time about a fellow Christian woman who wanted to become the best version of herself so she could stop worrying about what she couldn’t control and have thriving relationships.

Once upon a time, there was a woman who loved Jesus and had been married to her teenage sweetheart for the past 20+ years. She also…

• Preferred facts over feelings yet were also constantly aware of the feelings of others in a group or conversation.
• Had a passion for simplicity, order, and organization.
• Didn’t get caught up in fads or trends and enjoyed taking her own path.

Sometimes her personality quirks preferences and big fears held her back from doing things that she knew she could love or from living a bigger life. One of her top priorities was to:

Get comfortable with stepping outside of my comfort zone in order to connect with my husband by doing some of the things that he likes (i.e. outdoorsy things)

Before we get too far, can you relate to parts of her story? If so, go ahead and hit reply with what made you think, “That’s me, too!”

We teamed up to help her do just that.

Two key pieces to helping her get out of her comfort zone were:

1. Discovering who she is (i.e. What makes you YOU?).

You see, she wasn’t clueless about herself or her personality when we started our journey together. She’d taken many assessments over the years and had a solid grasp of who she was and wasn’t.

The cool thing about personality is that there’s always something more to learn, and that was the case for her as well.

Not only did she affirm what she already knew about herself BUT she also gained new insights into what made her tick (which included the things that made her feel so dang uncomfortable!).

For instance, she was more anxious when she felt unprepared, out of control, and unclear about what to expect. She loved the planning and organizing side of activities, so not getting to do that made outdoor adventures significantly less fun and way more stressful. She also had a strong desire for autonomy and a tendency to pre-worry, so the nagging fear of “What if something goes wrong and I don’t know what to do to fix it?” created a cycle of worry.

The good news? Owning these facets of herself helped us start…

2. Developing strategies to get out of her comfort zone

Rather than trying to force herself to work against her innate tendencies, we worked with them.

We brainstormed strategies to help her pursue her ultimate goal – a deeper, fun connection with her husband during outdoor adventures. Each of these ideas gave her a healthy sense of control and set her up for adventuring fun:

• Asking her husband how to best pack a hiking backpack (typically he’d do it for her)
• Watching survival shows together and talking about the techniques.
• Downloading an app to identify local plants when they’re out and about.

This is what she had to say about her experience:

I’ve already had some success! We went on a 5-hour hike last weekend without any friends (just the two of us) and it was really great! We had lots of time to talk and I was a little scared to hike up the very last part of the mountain but I did it with his encouragement. He was proud and I was glad that I did it and didn’t chicken out… We bought an annual pass for the area that we like to hike in so now we can go as often as we want!

By the way, she got this result within the first couple of our sessions! You go, girl!

Imagine what might change for you if you had some 1:1 support to help you embrace who God created you to be so you can work with who you are rather than who you’re not.

What would be different?

What would your story be?

If you’re interested in seeing what coaching can do for you, consider signing up for a free 40-minute coaching session with me. Hit reply if you’re interested and we can set up a time and start to change your story, too!

Reader, live intentionally with passion and purpose as God’s beloved!

Cortney

P.S. Want a guide for Advent? Be sure to grab your free Free Family + Couple Advent Calendar (updated for 2023).

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Cortney Loui​
​Christian life coach, Coffee Chats and Yoga Mats

Helping Christian women become the best version of themselves so they can live intentionally with passion and purpose as God’s beloved.

​coffeechatsandyogamats.com

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