When Putting Yourself Out There is Scary
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3 Encouraging Truths to Remember When Putting Yourself Out There is Scary

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Let’s talk about how totally nerve racking putting yourself out there is, to share your voice and hope it encourages someone. You’re not alone.

<Big deep breath>

I’ve been feeling this way about Coffee Chats and Yoga Mats.

The more I’ve enjoyed learning, writing and tinkering, the more intimidated I’ve become.

If you, too, are debating about or are currently putting yourself “out there” (whatever that might be!), you might relate to my fears.

You can live intentionally with passion and purpose as God’s beloved. That may mean “putting yourself out there” – whatever that looks like for you!

Let’s dive in!

More of a listener than a reader? Play the video about these 3 encouraging truths!

3 Encouraging truths to remember when putting yourself out there is scary

Am I being vain?

If I wanted to just journal my thoughts and feelings, I can do that by myself. (Shameless plug for your own self-reflection: 8 Self-Reflection Journal Prompts for Daily Soul Care.)

Part of me wonders if I’m being incredibly vain by putting myself out there like this.

  • Honestly, does my voice even matter? How could it possibly compare to the thousands of other voices in the web-o-sphere?
  • Why does this pursuit actually matter in the first place? What kind of expertise could I possibly offer to others?

Do you find yourself questioning if “putting yourself out there” actually matters? Are you just trying to boost your ego?

Perhaps you’re exploring/beginning to

  • Start a new business
  • Date!
  • Teach, coach or mentor
  • Learn a new skill
  • Create a product
  • Speak publicly
  • Reach out for help…
  • … the list goes on.

Putting yourself out there is downright scary at times.

I’m trying to continually come back to what’s truth and what’s my reality.

Truth: You are Created to Do Good Works

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Ephesians 2:10 (NIV)

You were created by God and for God to do good works. You were designed with that in mind!

Truth: You are Called to Use Your Gifts

Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.

1 Peter 4:10 (NIV)

You have been given unique giftings to serve others. God designed you with this in mind. He calls you to use these gifts.

Truth: Finding Satisfaction in Your Work is a Gift!

I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God.

Ecclesiastes 3: 12-13 (NIV)

I can’t count how many times I’ve come back to this verse over the years.

Isn’t it wonderful to know that being satisfied with the way you live your life and pursue your work is a gift from God?!

Put these truths together and what do you get?

You are Designed to Do Good + Called to Use Your Gifts = Satisfaction in Life

My Reality (and Yours!)

Sometimes it helps to revisit what’s your current reality.

  • What is it you’re longing for?
  • What are your current limitations?
  • Does this current pursuit mesh with your reality?

In my current reality, I’m the primary caregiver for a busy toddler.

I’m grateful (and surprised!) to get to be at home with my Little Man as a Stay-At-Home Mom.

I also miss my career life! I miss connecting with my students, coming up with new ideas, leading the charge on big projects, and the continuous learning. At times, I feel like that was someone else’s life!

So, I need an outlet with flexible time commitments, can be done from home, and builds on my talents and interests.

Since I’ve started sleeping more regularly-ish and writing more regularly, Coffee Chats and Yoga Mats has been such a source of joy and fulfillment. It checks my boxes.

That’s such a blessing!

So, what about YOU? What’s your current reality? What are your limitations? If you need to, write it down or say it out loud. It’s okay to own this!

when putting yourself out there is scary

What if no one wants to read/hear this?

I’m going to be painfully, embarrassingly honest.

Currently I have three subscribers to my blog:

  1. Myself. Trying to boost those numbers, you know? Actually, it’s a test email to see what it looks like from a reader’s perspective. So… yeah.
  2. My mom, because… she’s my mom.
  3. My husband, who is my greatest supporter

A decade ago, I had more readers (a little self-congratulations here). Surprisingly, everyone didn’t immediately jump on the new blog after almost 7 years of silence…

I’ve been agonizing over the worth of my words when the confirmed subscribers of this blog are biased in my favor.

C’mon!

More than anything, I want to be honest with you that this struggle is real for me. If you’d rather not admit you’ve got these fears, too, that’s okay.

What if others DO read my blog? And they don’t like me?!

That’s the goal, right? To connect with other people?

Yes!

And… yikesabee, that’s daunting. What if someone likes what I put out there? What if they expect me to crank out top-notch content? Yikes!

But… what if they don’t like what I have to say? What if they tell me they disagree with me? How will I cope?

After all, what if someone visits this blog and decides they don’t actually like my content and they don’t like me. What-am-I-gonna-do?!

How am I going to deal with the rejection and criticism?

Sheesh. Sometimes (like now) it helps to actually articulate those fears you have.

Because, honestly, when was I ever promised that everyone would like me and what I had to say?

Um – never.

“If people rejected Jesus, we’ll definitely be rejected by others.”

My Husband

If Jesus (perfect love and grace embodied) was rejected by people, then we (imperfect, sinful, not always loving) will definitely be rejected by others.

Sometimes people just won’t like you or what you put out there. That’s okay.

(And now I’ll repeat this to myself over and over again…)

Get some quick practical tips to embrace your God-gifted personality and your potential with our free playbook

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Learn what God has to say about your personality. Answer questions like, “Why am I like this?!”
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Get practical tips for being more intentional with your time and energy so you can start thriving instead of just surviving

It’s Okay to Put Yourself Out There

Recently I listened to this phenomenal podcast, This is Jen: It’s Okay to Want An Audience. It’s exactly what my heart needed. Here’s a few quotes that stood out to me:

If God has inspired you to share a message, then He is inspiring you to hustle to make people aware of that message. And it is miserable and it is one of the most humbling things you will ever do. You worry about having an ego? You will not need to worry about that for much better when you’re hustling to put yourself out there. You will be humbled so quickly. Like it will be the exact opposite of what you fear.

This is Jen: It’s Okay to Want An Audience

It’s not about you personally being amazing. You’re just the vehicle for delivering this message that’s meant to be out there in the world. So if you get rejected, they’re not rejecting you, they’re rejecting the message. And if you end up having extraordinary success and a million followers, well, you similarly understand that this isn’t about you and your personal amazingness, it’s about the message that you were meant to share. 

This is Jen: It’s Okay to Want An Audience

If you’re sharing from a place of love, that’s generative. That creates momentum.

It’s okay to put yourself out there, to hustle to bring awareness of what you have to offer.

You, yes YOU, have a message to share. Be brave. Share it. We need YOUR voice.

And here’s another article to nudge you along the way: 3 Powerful Truths to Focus on When You Think You Don’t Have What it Takes!

truths for when you feel like you don't have what it takes

Articles related to putting yourself out there

Your Turn: How are you going to/currently putting yourself out there?

You are designed to do good work. You are called to use your gifts. This is one amazing way to find satisfaction in your life.

You can live intentionally with passion and purpose as God’s beloved. Put yourself out there – we need you!

Be brave. Be bold.

How are you going to or currently putting yourself out there?

I’m cheering for you!

P.S. Want some crazy simple steps to start living intentionally? Grab the Embrace Your Potential Playbook. It’ll help you zoom in on your God-gifted personality and give you practical tips to be more intentional, passionate, and purposeful as God’s beloved so you can become the best version of yourself.

Cortney Loui, coffee on patio

Cortney is a Christian life coach and recovering over-achiever who is passionate about helping Christian women embrace who God created them to be so they can confidently step into any season of life with passion, purpose, and peace. She’s also an ENFJ, MBTI® coach, M. Ed in College Student Development, Pilates and Yoga teacher, wife, mama, and entrepreneur. In her pre-kid life, she coordinated programs for, coached, funded, and provided leadership training for more than 60+ student organizations and 100s of university students for 7+ years. (Helping people highlight their inner awesomeness and reach their goals is her jam!)

More importantly, she’s God’s beloved.

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