When Life is Hard, Make a List
After a few months into round one of job searching, I took myself out on a reality check. Sometimes it’s been so helpful to whip out some paper and make some lists about what’s currently going on in my life, my fears and state the facts. One of my new mottos is, “When life is hard, make a list.”
At the time, all of my jobs were ending, my housing contract was coming to a close and the job rejection letters were pouring in. It was time to rework my fears and doubts before I implemented my plan to become Miss Rip van Winkle. When in doubt, avoid it, right?
Unfortunately, avoiding the hard stuff typically doesn’t help in the long-term. (I’m all for a good veg-out session, though!)
As before, taking the time to simply articulate what’s crazy talk and what’s legit helped clear my head. I prefer to deliberately include the outlandish fears I have. They’re real and deserve acknowledgement.
You can live intentionally with passion and purpose as God’s beloved – even when life is really hard.
Make a Few Lists
I’ve gotten into the habit of whipping out this outline when it comes to interviews and rejections, housing failures, guys, break-ups, and so on. It keeps me real… and laughing at myself.
Honestly, there isn’t a set science for doing this. Do what works for you. It can be super helpful to just dump out all the frantic thoughts running through your mind.
Think about what’s going on in your life. What does it look like right now? What are your big fears? Are they realistic or blown out of proportion?
As you can see below, I create my own categories for my lists:
- What’s my immediate outlook: the pros and cons
- My fears
- Flip it: what are knowable facts
Immediate Outlook When Life is Hard
Cons: This sucks. Fact.
- Uncertain future. Housing. Jobs.
- How will I survive and pay bills?
- How will I pay off my loans? I’m gonna be paying off student loans forever!
- Where will I live? What do I do about my stuff?
- I can’t make plans or commit to anything!!
Pros: This is exciting. Anything is possible. fact.
- Characteristics: young, single, capable, motivated and energetic
- Can do anything and go anywhere
- Can pursue big dreams
- Shape career however I want
Wide-Eyed Frantic Fears
- Never get a job
- Get into debt
- Have to sell everything
- Have to move in with my parents
- Get stuck with people who give me the creeps (plenty of unwanted guy attention at the time)
- Homeless, hopeless, desperate, depressed, lonely, and lost
- Shanty on the river
- Gonna be a loser and forever keep disappointing myself
Flip It: Face the Facts
- I will get a job. It may not happen quickly. I may juggle multiple jobs for years, but I can be satisfied with my life. Whatever and wherever I end up.
- I’ve planned ahead for potential poorness. I’ll be okay.
- Mom and Dad will help me if need be. (Yeck.)
- I have too many options to have to move home.
- I choose where I apply.
- Learning to live without my bed, my dishes, my books and practically everything I own might be good for me. Who really wants to use that snappy red kitchen table anyway? (sigh)
- I have too many reasons to hope & support to get…homeless, hopeless, desperate, depressed, lonely, lost, and move into a shanty on the river.
List Magic
This time, after I whipped up these lists and reviewed them, I could breathe again and come up with tactics to beat the fear beast down. What a relief!
I hope taking the time to make a list by jotting down your fears and facts helps you move forward in your season of life. You can do this!
You can live intentionally with passion and purpose as God’s beloved.
P.S. Want some crazy simple steps to start living intentionally? Grab the Embrace Your Potential Playbook. It’ll help you zoom in on your God-gifted personality and give you practical tips to be more intentional, passionate, and purposeful as God’s beloved so you can become the best version of yourself.
Cortney is a Christian life coach and recovering over-achiever who is passionate about helping Christian women embrace who God created them to be so they can confidently step into any season of life with passion, purpose, and peace. She’s also an ENFJ, MBTI® coach, M. Ed in College Student Development, Pilates and Yoga teacher, wife, mama, and entrepreneur. In her pre-kid life, she coordinated programs for, coached, funded, and provided leadership training for more than 60+ student organizations and 100s of university students for 7+ years. (Helping people highlight their inner awesomeness and reach their goals is her jam!)
More importantly, she’s God’s beloved.
“You aren’t finished when you are defeated, you are finished when you quit.” Harvey Mackay || Keep going, you have great spirit!
Thanks for the great quote & for reading, Jennifer!
Really do not want you to move back home permanently but for a short term it might be okay. Yes, it would be sad not to be able to use that cute red table and chairs set. You find the positive in unpleasant times. Smile and remember that others are not as lucky as you.
You’re right. Another upcoming post: how irritating it is when people make a point of reminding you to remember “how lucky you are.” Not necessary & not helpful.