3 Powerful Truths to Focus on When You Don’t Have What it Takes

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Welcome to the club of recovering over-achievers who still sometimes think, “I don’t have what it takes!” (hello, imposter syndrome!)!

The club kind of sucks, doesn’t it?

I mean, who really wants to regularly hit a wall that says, “You don’t measure up. Try again.”

But you, beloved, are going to learn how to demolish that wall (or simply walk around it) so you can move forward with intentionality, purpose, and passion as God’s beloved.

(At Coffee Chats and Yoga Mats they’re a package deal.)

Here are 3 powerful truths to combat imposter syndrome and positive proactive steps you can take to move forward because you can live intentionally with passion and purpose as God’s beloved.

What is imposter syndrome?

Really, a lot of those fears that you “don’t have what it takes” often boil down to imposter syndrome.

imposter syndrome – anxiety or self-doubt that results from persistently undervaluing one’s competence and active role in achieving success, while falsely attributing one’s accomplishments to luck or other external forces.

dictionary.com

A couple disclaimers when it comes to dealing with “I don’t have what it takes!” thoughts

Disclaimer 1: I haven’t annihilated imposter syndrome (but these truths help!).

In fact, Coffee Chats and Yoga Mats almost missed out on its major mission – helping YOU thrive with your God-given personality – because of my struggle with imposter syndrome.

You see, I’ve been a personality and personal growth junkie since I was in junior high.

You probably have your “thing” (or multiple topics!) that you really care about.

Perhaps, like me, you’ve invested hours in your passion, such as:

• Creating your own personal library about your passion, ranging from printed books to ebooks, to videos, podcasts, workshops, reading blogs…
• Earning certifications and degrees
• Eagerly perking up when someone brings up topics directly connected to or adjacently related to your passion
• Find ways to talk about it with EVERYONE – loved ones, colleagues, strangers, yourself…

From the outside looking in, it’d be pretty obvious that I knew what I was talking about. I was ready.

But… whenever I sat down to start that first post, these kinds of thoughts kept creeping in:

• I don’t have what it takes.
• I’ve been told time and again that this doesn’t matter or is downright fluffy. Is this a stupid thing to talk about?
• Everything about this topic has been done before. Who am I to speak on this?
• I don’t know enough. I need more time. More certifications. More something. I’ll wait until I’m ready.
• Who am I to speak on this? I don’t know enough.

What helped?

Finally confronting the lies of imposter syndrome with truth and proactive steps.

And… just to be clear, those limiting beliefs still creep in far more often than I’d like.

But I’ve learned to preach these truths to myself because these God-given passions need to be shared.

And so do yours.

(Is it narcissistic to keep coming back to your own posts for a pep talk?)

Disclaimer 2: We’re not talking about being able to do everything.

Just to clarify: “You have what it takes” doesn’t include things that you’re not remotely qualified for.

You really shouldn’t fly a jet without training and mentorship.

Or operate on bodies.

Or anything like that.

This post is written with the idea of overcoming limiting beliefs related to imposter syndrome, not assuming you can do “anything” just because you feel or think strongly about it.

Limiting belief #1: This passion I care about doesn’t really matter (or it’s stupid)

… or fill in the blank with whatever other word that you see as less-than that makes you think that you don’t have what it takes.

After all, you’ve encountered folks who have been pretty clear that they don’t care about your passion.

In fact, they might have said it was stupid, pointless, didn’t make sense, boring.. what-have-you.

As Simon Sinek (and lots of other really smart people) said:

Hello, welcome to humanity, amiright?

If you know that everyone won’t dig what you’re digging, why is it so dang upsetting?

Because YOU CARE about it. You’ve invested a whole lot of you into it.

Then you talk with someone and they’re all like, “Bro, that’s a waste of time. So not interested.”

WHAT?!

• Have you been wasting your time on something that ultimately doesn’t matter?
• Does that mean that other things that you care about don’t matter, too?
• Does that mean you actually don’t have the intelligence or wisdom or whatever to pick out what actually matters?

… and down the rabbit hole you go.

The truth is…

Truth: Your passion doesn’t have any less value because someone else doesn’t have the same passion

It’s such a simple truth but gosh-darnit, I need this reminder on the regular.

Just because someone else isn’t passionate or interested in your passion, it doesn’t make it matter any less.

It also does not mean that you don’t have what it takes.

For example: Let’s talk about plumbing…

I really don’t want to know how my house’s plumbing works. I don’t care enough to know the details.

But… does that mean that plumbing doesn’t matter? That it doesn’t impact my life?

Of course not!

Case in point: I learned this lesson the messy (and gross) way when the plumbing in a rental went kaput.

My three roommates and I were rocking the university life in our charming tri-level, dubbed the Banana Republic due to its sunny color and dead yellow VW beetle. That is until…

• Our kitchen sink flooded.
• The upstairs bathroom was shooting up sewage.
• An un-plumbing bonus was that our stovetop literally caved in.

… all in the span of a few days.

It was a glamorous time for my three roommates and me…

I thanked Jesus for a responsive landlord and effective plumber – my heroes!

And will forever be grateful for plumbers and the work they do.

Limiting Belief #2: Everyone has written/discussed/done everything possible about my passion ever.

How often have you found yourself thinking this about your own passion?

How could you possibly contribute anything whatsoever to the crazy amount of knowledge out there?

I mean, nothing else can be said, right?

FALSE.

Truth: You have a unique take on your passion that no one else has

Rather than thinking, “I have nothing to contribute,” consider instead, “I have a unique perspective and contribution to offer.”

No one else is quite like you. No one else has your combination of history, personality, and approach to this particular topic.

Celebrate that.

Still, feeling intimidated? Check out this post on Three Encouraging Truths to Remember When Putting Yourself Out There is Scary. That post is ALL about those fears. Head’s up! You’re not alone in this!

For instance, for the past decade or so of blogging and reading blogs, I haven’t found many self-proclaimed extrovert bloggers.

Tip! Introversion and extroversion are NOT about whether you are outgoing or shy. It IS about how you are most energized. Introverts are most typically energized by having time by themselves (inward). Extroverts are most typically energized by being with others (external).

My unique perspective as an extrovert blogger might provide some unexpected insight. Maybe not. But – I won’t know unless I try.

(In case you were concerned, I adore the introverts in my life, especially the super awesome one I married… 😉 )

You have a unique spin that only you have. You have what it takes.

Limiting Belief #3: I don’t know where to start. I’ll just keep thinking about it and wait until I’m ready.”

How often has this helped you move forward with big projects?

Yes, there’s definitely a time for reflecting and planning.

Jesus actually talks about the importance of planning and reflection. In this case, he’s discussing whether to follow Him or not.

But… are you planning and strategizing or just avoiding trying?

Truth: You’re never going to be 100% ready and others are missing your impact while you wait

We both know this is true. You can’t make progress if you don’t take a step.

You can’t become an expert in your passion if you don’t start the work.

Think about it. Ponder it. Come up with a plan. Start with small steps.

But show up. Follow that passion.

Who knows who you might positively impact by trying?

We know who will be impacted by you NOT trying.

No one.

We need you to see that you do have what it takes.

Take Action: Brainstorm Worst Case Scenarios

One of the biggest things that shut us down from trying is fear of failure.

Then, rather than moving forward, we let the mere idea of failure stop us from trying.

So, let’s get down and dirty. Let’s transform fear into action.

Assuming, you’re not pursuing a life-or-death situation, we’re going to take 5 minutes to brain-dump answers to this question:

What’s the worst that could happen if you fail?

Grab a piece of paper or open a blank doc and jot down everything that comes to mind.

As Marie Forelo says, “If you can name it, you can claim it.”

Then, take a hard look at that list.

How likely is it that any of those items will happen? Are they survivable?

More likely than not, most of the potential outcomes are less likely than we imagine.

Let’s answer one more question:

What are some positive outcomes if I try?

Go crazy. Dream big.

Hopefully, the positive outcomes outweigh the fear of failure.

Maybe you create an amazing business that supports your family AND transforms others’ lives.

Maybe you inspire someone to also dream big.

Maybe you just start owning more of that special something you have deep within.

When you feel like you’ll never do anything worthwhile with your dream, come back to these lists. Remember WHY you’re doing the thing. It matters. You matter.

We need you to pursue your passion.

Stuck? Here are some lists I made when I was in the middle of a two-year-ish job search. Talk about a humbling experience!

Articles related to truth to focus on when you don’t think you have what it takes

• 3 Encouraging Truths to Remember When Putting Yourself Out There is Scary
• Feeling small? Like you don’t measure up? Friend, you are God’s beloved.
• Start Advocating for Yourself. Be brave. Speak up in small ways.
• What legacy for your child are you creating? (5 priceless legacies to leave!)

Remember these truths when you don’t think you measure up

Like you, I struggle with self-defeating thoughts that I don’t have what it takes to do my passion. As we’ve discussed, real truths far outweigh these limiting beliefs. These truths include:

1. Truth: Your passion doesn’t have any less value because someone else doesn’t have the same passion
2. Truth: You have a unique take on your passion that no one else has
3. Truth: You’re never going to be 100% ready and others are missing your impact while you wait

Most of us know these statements are true, but we forget when we’re too busy psyching ourselves out.

To defeat these limiting beliefs and start taking action, I encourage you to do two braindumps answering these two questions:

• What’s the worst that could happen if I fail?
• What are some positive outcomes if I try?

When you feel like you can’t do your passion because you’re not enough revisit these lists. Add to them if you need to! Then punch that fear of failure in the face and show up.

Share your passion.

We need you.

You can live intentionally with passion and purpose as God’s beloved.

You have what it takes.

I’m cheering for you!

P.S. Want some crazy simple steps to start living intentionally? Grab the Embrace Your Potential Playbook. It’ll help you zoom in on your God-gifted personality and give you practical tips to be more intentional, passionate, and purposeful as God’s beloved so you can become the best version of yourself.

cort.k.loui

Cortney is a Christian life coach and recovering over-achiever who is passionate about helping Christian women embrace who God created them to be so they can confidently step into any season of life with passion, purpose, and peace. She’s also an ENFJ, MBTI® coach, M. Ed in College Student Development, Pilates and Yoga teacher, wife, mama, and entrepreneur. In her pre-kid life, she coordinated programs for, coached, funded, and provided leadership training for more than 60+ student organizations and 100s of university students for 7+ years. (Helping people highlight their inner awesomeness and reach their goals is her jam!)

More importantly, she’s God’s beloved.