Why am I like this?
Hello Beloved!
How many times a week (or even in a day) have you wondered, “Why am I like this?”
I know that question has popped up far more times than I’d like in my head!
And you know what?
It’s a relatable and interesting question… and a really terrible one, too. (By the way, the terrible part is NOT your fault!)
Say what?!
Stick with me.
The good news?
You have access to all kinds of resources and support to help you begin to explore that question, “Why am I like this?” or more accurately, “What makes me ME?” because you are NOT a problem to be solved (more about that in a bit).
A few include:
- Reading the Bible and talking with God. As Christians, this is core to who we are – understanding Who created us!
- Taking time for journaling and reflecting
- Utilizing personality assessments and tests to help you dig into what makes you YOU**
- Getting professional support and guidance from counselors, therapists, guides, and coaches to help you not only THINK about why you’re the way you are but also DO something with that information.
Why it’s a terrible question
When you ask, “Why am I like this?” it’s probably related to something far more specific going on in your life.
After all, “Why am I like this?” is a ginormous, loaded baked potato of concerns, fears, and regrets, such as:
- Ugh! Why is making this decision so dang difficult?
- That conversation blew up in my face so fast. Why did I say that?
- I really shouldn’t decided to do that. Why did I do it?!
- … and the concerns spiral on.
… all of which boils down to this:
–> I made choices I regret and want a do-over.
It shifts from “What is wrong with me?” to “What went wrong with this situation? What can I do about it now?”
Spoiler alert: Contrary to all kinds of time travel stories, we haven’t quite figured out how to time-jump and rewrite the story, so we’ll have to work with where we’re at. (By the way, aren’t time travel stories ridiculously fun and illogical? Gosh, I dig ‘em!)
Let’s deal with a gnarly situation… right now!
- Think about a frustrating situation you’re facing right now. Maybe it’s a relationship conflict, a work project, overstacked calendar – just pick one for now.
- Ask yourself: “What went wrong with this situation? What can I do about it now?”
- Set a 1-5 minute timer and jot down or say out loud what comes to mind.
- After the timer goes off, pick 1-2 actions that you’re going to implement… and follow through.
- Check-in: how do you feel? Ready to move forward or stuck?
Now imagine if you changed the question (#2) to “Why am I like this?”
What would you responses be? Helpful or unhelpful?
Hit reply if you want to share what came up. I can hardly wait to hear what’s on your mind!
Here’s to you embracing who God created you to be (you’re pretty awesome) so you can confidently step into any season of life with passion, purpose, and peace!
Cortney
P.S.2 *By the way, this is also a big piece (and one of the most fun parts, according to my clients) of Christian Life Coaching with me. As one client put it, “I’ve learned to lean into my strengths but also try to be a bit more ‘stretchy’ and think outside of my personality preferences.”
I’m Cortney, a recovering over-achiever and God’s beloved who loves helping fellow Christian women like you embrace your God-given gifts so you have the confidence to live authentically.
I’m also a full-time mama to two sweet little boys, wife to my best friend, motivational speaker, and part-time Christian life coach. Chai lattes, strong coffee, podcasts, yoga, dance, and fairy tales nourish my soul and add sweetness to life.
Discovering the joy of embracing my God-given gifts and who He created me to be was a game-changer—a journey that brought freedom, unexpected delights, and relief from guilt. Finally, I felt free to be myself and ditch the pressure of being someone I wasn’t.
Incorporating those gifts into my day—from weekly planning to deciding on commitments, nurturing my marriage, and parenting—transformed everything. Now, I can’t imagine life without the perspective of fully embracing who God created me to be. I was missing so much without it!
