Why filling your cup is so important (and how to actually do it!)

Are you running on empty (or almost empty)? Feeling overwhelmed, stressed, drained? You’re not alone, and you can begin to fill your cup starting now.

Earlier this year, my church focused on mental wellness (cough, #relevant amIright?). Here’s a little truth bomb you might need, too:

Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is to take a nap.

Mark Moore, Christ’s Church of the Valley (from my paraphrased memory)

Say what?! The most spiritual thing you can do is to take a nap?

Totally. Sometimes what you need most to fill your cup is to close your eyes.

Yet, perhaps you’re like me and a lousy napper.

(Seriously, even when I got 5 hours of sleep with a preemie at home, I just. couldn’t. nap. even when I had the coverage. #I’mnotbitter…)

But whether you’re an excellent napper or a lousy napper, we can still lean into seeking rest so we can better fill up our cups.

You can live intentionally with passion and purpose as God’s beloved.

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Let’s dive in!

Ask this 10-second question to identify your needs (i.e. what you need to fill your cup)

Think about where you’re at now, at this moment, in this season.

Maybe you’re in a superstar zone – you’re rocking out, taking names, and doing all the things like a boss.

via GIPHY

Or maybe you’re on the other extreme – totally tapped out and so exhausted from the many things on your plate, mind, and heart.

via GIPHY

Perhaps you’re in the messy in-between – dominating in some areas of your life and not so much in others.

Regardless of where you’re at, asking yourself this simple 10-second question can help you make shifts (however huge or tiny) toward taking better care of yourself.

“What would fill my cup up the most today? Now?”

10-second question to start identifying how to fill your cup

And now you might be thinking…

“Great, another silly question I won’t remember or do.”

“C’mon! What I need is a babysitter, a vacation, and a massage – things I’m NOT going to get right now!”

“Give me a break. Scrolling away now…”

Wait!

Before you totally give up on this idea, just take a hot minute to ask yourself this question and note what are the first thing(s) that come to mind.

Often what comes to mind may not be uber expensive or seemingly impossible. Maybe it’s:

• Needing a long talk with a loved one
• Getting up for some healthy happy movement (seriously, after you read this post, get up for 5 minutes). Walking in circles loosens up your muscles!
• Retreating into a delightful story
• To get rehydrated with a cup of water.
• A good stretch – reach your arms up high and arch from side to side
• Quiet. Stillness. To not be “on” and bombarded with all the noises from others around you, music, appliances, the Internet, whatever.
• To brain dump your thoughts. What’s nagging you? Taking a few minutes to just dump it on a piece of paper, Word doc, Evernote (my personal favorite), or your favorite medium can be so therapeutic.
• Perhaps, as Mark suggested, you just need to take a nap.
• Or… fill in the blank.

Heck – if multiple things come to mind, jot them down! Put it in your planner, journal, Evernote, Trello, and make a voice memo with Alexa, what-have-you.

(Note: Ideally, recording what comes to mind doesn’t become yet another thing to do. Go with the easiest option for you now. You don’t need more decision fatigue.)

It’s a powerful, simple question that can help you meet that soul-need you have. Often, that need is tied to what our physical bodies need – a break, a change, a shift.

You’ve got three options…

1. Justify how you “couldn’t possibly” take the time to fill your cup

Because, obviously, you are Super Human and can overcome exhaustion, overwhelm, hunger, thirst, etc. by sheer will.

Look, I’m totally guilty of thinking that way (even if I don’t acknowledge it). Heck – that’s a reason I’m writing this post – like you, I struggle hard with this!

How far has that mentality gotten you so far?

When you don’t pause for a genuine rest, do you feel like the best version of yourself? Are you kinder to others? Yourself?

Has your patience grown because of your self-sacrificial approach (i.e. neglecting your basic needs)?

If it has, let me know. (Seriously, I want to know – how’d you do it?)

If, perhaps, you’re more like me, this option hasn’t typically worked out well.

More often than not, my body forces to me shut down and slow down. Blinding migraines, illness, disagreements with others… you name it. Somehow I get smacked in the face with how unwell I am. Just super. (insert sarcasm)

Have you also been smacked in the face (or other part of your body) with how your body, heart, soul, and mind can keep going on this track of not resting? Read Ever Been Smacked in the Face With a Painful Memory?

If so, then we’ve got two other, far-better, options to go with.

2. Just do the first thing that comes to mind to fill your cup

Does that “just” give you hives? If so, I’m truly sorry, but it’s also true. Can you invest 1-5 minutes of your time (more or less) to do that soul-body care?

Can you take a nap in 5 minutes? Probably not.

But… can you take 5 minutes to sit down and close your eyes? Or lie down?

(During my pregnancy with Little Man, my job duties had shifted so that I was responsible for my job and work from two colleagues who had left our team. Pregnancy tiredness + full plate + my ever-present migraines were a draining combination. Once a day or so, I’d shut my office door and just lie down on my yoga mat for a few minutes. It refreshed me to get up and to work again. #soworthit This might help you, too!)

Heck – if it helps, set a timer to help you focus and be present for that body care you need. (Research shows that limiting your time can help you focus more!)

3. Decide when, where, and what you’ll do to fill your cup

Perhaps you can’t do what you need to do right at the moment. Your child is climbing on the countertop, your pot is boiling over on the stovetop, someone won’t stop ringing your doorbell, and your mom is calling you. Or you’re in the midst of a big meeting or teaching a class. Typically, you can’t just announce, “I’m done here” and walk out the door.

Recording your needs doesn’t mean you have to immediately start doing it. However, making note of it may help you start making some tangible steps toward filling your cup.

So, what does that mean when you’re overtapped and need to refill your cup? Decide when, where, and how you can do it. Take some positive proactive action.

Don’t overthink it, my friend. It can be as simple as…

• Doing what you need to do first (like grab your monkey child, push the pot off the stovetop, and answer the door. Once those things are done, you go outside with your kid for a 5-minute pause.
• Declaring to yourself “When this meeting is over, I’m going to walk outside and stretch.”
• Considering those around you – do they need a break, too? “If I’m feeling overwhelmed, my class may, too. Let’s take a minute to stretch and get a drink of water.”
• … and so forth.

Or perhaps it means that in a couple hours, you’ll prioritize listening to a fantastic audiobook, taking a bath, or massaging your body with lotion. Simply knowing you have that to look forward to can sometimes make a big difference.

It doesn’t have to take hours. Just minutes may be what you need to refresh yourself.

Go to the Living Water each moment to fill up your cup

… and you know what?

Filling your cup totally matters. Taking the time to rest. To pause. To move. Is so very important.

And… it’s also important to remember that ultimately, your cup won’t be filled up if you’re doing it on your own. If you’re depending on yourself to fill that need.

I (finally) finished reading a book that dropped several truth bombs about Jesus, including how He’s the ultimate source for filling our cups.

This thought-provoking book is Confessions of a

(My sweet friend Lindsey gifted it to me years ago and I finally finished reading it. Boy, I wish I’d jumped in full steam back then! Belated thanks, Linds!)

In Confessions, Maltby discusses what the Living Water means for us good Christian girls (and guys).

In John 4, the infamous story of the woman at the well, Jesus shares that He is the living water with the woman. Basically, this could be translated as “running water” – ever-flowing, ever-available and inexhaustible.

This woman lugged her water jar to the well daily to get enough water for the day knowing this was HUGE. Just imagine how exciting it must have been to hear that you might not need to lug your water jar every day to be refreshed. What if there was an ever-flowing source of water in front of you? Would that change your perspective?

Let’s be real, as someone who lives with indoor plumbing, I just don’t fully appreciate what a big deal this must have seemed to this woman.

Personally, I’ve often visualized Living Water as a cup of water. Like the tiny nibble of communion crackers and sip of juice, we do in corporate church worship. It’s enough to be symbolic, but not really enough for lasting nourishment.