Hello, beloved!
I’m Cortney, a recovering over-achiever and God’s beloved who loves helping fellow Christian women like you embrace your God-given gifts so you have the confidence to live authentically.
I’m also a full-time mama to 2 sweet little boys, wife to my best friend, motivational speaker, and part-time Christian life coach. (Add in being an MBTI® consultant and occasional Pilates and Yoga teacher – getting stretchy inside and out is my jam :))
And… like you, I’ve often felt like I’m not living up to my potential. Like I’m missing something that everyone else around me seems to have already figured out.
Perhaps we can agree about this: Too many of us feel like we’re not enough and too much (talk about exhausting!) yet God created us intentionally and uniquely because He loves us, chose us, and wants us to thrive with Him.
I’ve learned from personal experience (see below), that when you embrace your God-given gifts(even with your faults, frailties, failures, and #allthethings) it changes everything. (And that’s where the fun begins!).
- You can have more fun being yourself – with more grace and less guilt.
- You’re less frazzled and more intentional with what gets your attention.
- You can find purpose, passion, and peace in any situation (even when it sucks!)
Progress, not perfection
I don’t have it all figured out. Sometimes I forget that I am God’s beloved. I get distracted by #allthethings, feel comparisonities kicking in, and feel overwhelmed by life. Time and again, I come back to these practices to thrive:
- Remembering that as God’s beloved, I am enough through Christ. He defines who I am – not my accomplishments, failures, fears, or anything else.
- Working with who God created me to be, including my God-given gifts and capacities, instead of who I’m not, as I pursue my top priorities and goals, organize my life, and connect with others.
- Practicing grace over guilt as I make intentional, incremental changes in my thought life, relationships, and day-to-day activities.
What I believe about YOU and me
- Our true value and identity come from God alone. We’re his beloved children! No matter how we’re feeling or thinking. No matter what our family, spouse, or anyone else says. He knows us. (Romans 8:14-16, Genesis 1:27, Psalm 139, 1 John 3:1).
- All that we are is a gift from God to intentionally treasure, including our personality. We’re called to be stewards of our lives and talents. (Matthew 25:14-30, Ephesians 2:10).
Sound good to you? Keep reading for more of my story!
My story (so far)
I remember spending many hot, humid Texas summers hunkered over my family’s computer taking personality tests. I desperately wanted to be seen and feel like I belonged. While I grew up in a loving family, I often felt out of step with others and felt like a failure as a result.
It wasn’t until I read Please Understand Me II by David Keirsey in graduate school that I felt known and seen. Suddenly I was able to see myself in a new light and better understand not just what I liked to do but also why I liked it.
For instance, if you’d peeked in on my planner at the time, you’d see days crammed full of studying, working at the university Service-Learning Volunteer Center, teaching PiYO at multiple gyms, serving as a drama coach for 3rd-6th graders, leading the charge for local non-profits, and mentoring student-athletes.
At first glance, you might think I was obsessed with building my resume, but the recurring thread was personal development (for myself and others). Finally cluing into part of the “why” for my over-committing helped me a) stop feeling guilty about it and b) start giving myself permission to be more strategic.
My confidence and purpose grew the more I learned about my God-given gifts, got clear about what was true for me (an assessment gives insight – you determine what’s true for you!), and used that newfound self-awareness in my day-to-day life.
A few ways that played out included:
- Easily saying “Yes” to my dream job after 2 long years of job searching, 100s of interviews, and several job offers. It checked all the boxes of what I was looking for in a job (and then some!).
- Moving hundreds of miles away from my family and friends because I knew that I thrived in new environments and loved starting something new.
- Confidently moving forward with dating and marrying my now-husband… I knew what kind of person I was looking for and who I wanted to be with that person. (Note: Your personality does NOT dictate who is/isn’t a great fit for you. Being self-aware can help you get clearer what qualities you’re looking for and, ultimately, who you want to be when you’re with them.)
- Spending the next several years at Arizona State University coaching, teaching, advising, and funding 80+ university student organizations and hundreds of research students. I loved supporting my amazing students with their projects, dreams, and goals in as many ways as possible. (Gosh, I miss my students!)
Relationships.
They can bring out the best in us… and give a killer knock-out when feelings are hard and messy.
Picture it: I’m sobbing every few hours while moping at home and ranting about what I did wrong, what they did wrong, and how I didn’t know how to move on from ALL THE FEELINGS.
I finally settled down enough to for my daily Bible reading, which included this section:
The mature children of God are those who are moved by the impulses of the Holy Spirit. And you did not receive the “spirit of religious duty,” leading you back into the fear of never being good enough. But you have received the “Spirit of full acceptance,” enfolding you into the family of God. And you will never feel orphaned, for as he rises up within us, our spirits join him in saying the words of tender affection, “Beloved Father!” For the Holy Spirit makes God’s fatherhood real to us as he whispers into our innermost being, “You are God’s beloved child!”
Romans 8:14-16 The Passion Translation, my emphasis added
Cue a heavy sigh of relief.
The Spirit fully accepted me – including my many flaws and failures – because I’m His beloved child through Jesus. I could embrace who God created me to be and be confident that I was never alone.
Sure, I needed to offer forgiveness, seek reconciliation, and continue growing, but I didn’t have to keep fearing that I wasn’t good enough.
That truth doesn’t go away based on my feelings or how others perceive me. I’m His, wholly and completely.
This passage also made me realize how much I found my self-worth in my accomplishments, failures, others’ feedback, and so many other ways that weren’t serving me. This set me off on a journey of clearing out the mental clutter and voices that weren’t helping me thrive as God’s beloved.
The good news for you, beloved? You can find freedom, too!
The thing is – my university role was meaningful, satisfying work… but I also struggled to focus on what mattered most to me in the midst of #allthethings on my plate.
Part of my problem was that I wasn’t sure WHAT mattered most to me or HOW to actually focus on whatever that was!
Looking back, I wish I’d been more intentional with my time and energy. I’m not proud of how often I just crashed on the couch with a screen at the end of a long workweek or how often I’d skip meals because I forgot to eat.
I was living on autopilot and constantly distracted by everything competing for my time and energy.
… and my first high-risk pregnancy overhauled my life.
(We’ll save that sob story for another time…)
When I became a stay-at-home mom with my preemie son, I had loads of unscheduled time… and was utterly overwhelmed and exhausted.
I didn’t want to just survive, I wanted to thrive! Something needed to change.
I started to ask myself questions like:
- What do I actually want out of life? In this season?
- What am I good at? What do I enjoy?
- What are my weaknesses and limitations? What am I struggling with in this season?
- What’s making life difficult? What can I do about it?
Answering these questions helped me get clear on what mattered most to me and step forward with purpose, passion, and peace.
I’ve learned that when I consciously clear out my roadblocks, embrace my God-given gifts, and get strategic in how I use my gifts, I can confidently and authentically use my gifts as I move forward.
A big step involved brainstorming what my priorities were and how I could create space for them. For instance, I stopped guilt-tripping myself about not designing 100% of my life around my son and started incorporating him into the activities I loved – like exercise and listening to podcasts.
I gave myself permission to not do “productive household things” during nap times and instead opted for pouring into Coffee Chats and Yoga Mats or simply making a homemade latte and enjoying a novel… both of which helped me become a better person to be around.
I partnered with my husband to shift rhythms in our household so that each of us could have more time for rest, play, and getting stuff done. A few super helpful habits I started developing (all discussed on this site, too!) included:
- Daily planning and journaling
- Weekly planning
- Monthly planning
- Meal planning
- Marriage retreats
- … and more!
As I developed these habits – and periodically assessed what was working and not working – I found myself enjoying my life more.
Less pressure and guilt. More passion, purpose, and peace.
… and that’s what I want for you, too, beloved.
- I’m God’s Beloved! (and you are, too!)
- My passion for personality runs deep. I’m Myers Briggs Typology Indicator®(MBTI®) certified. ENFJ all the way, baby!
- Two of my top CliftonStrengths are Input and Learner. I’m addicted to learning.. and can be over “inputted” if I’m not careful.
- Teaching PiYo is one of my greatest joys.
- I met and married my husband within six months. Best. Choice. Ever. He’s my best friend!
- My dream job (pre-kid) was working with university students as a coordinator for engineering students. Helping students pursue their passion and purpose was the best gig ever!
- I was TERRIFIED of becoming a mom. Two high-risk pregnancies and a 57-day NICU stay for my eldest didn’t help. The good news? My boys make life sweeter, more challenging, and constantly push me to get creative, flexible, and have more fun.
- I’ve lived on both a sheep farm and a pygmy goat farm. Because obviously…
- Anne of Green Gables is basically my dream friend and hero. #kindred-spirit
- Homemade lattes and chai lattes are my sipping fav.
Schedule your complimentary virtual coffee chat so we can figure out your next right step.
During this free 20-minute call, we’ll discuss your current circumstances, what seems to be getting in the way of embracing your God-given gifts, and what working together could look like.
Ultimately, my hope is that you end our call feeling seen, valued, and equipped for whatever next step you decide to take. This one call could be just what you need to shift from merely surviving to confidently thriving (instead of waiting for Someday to finally make it happen!)
