You Don’t Cook?!

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One of my most disliked questions is “Do you cook?”

My go-to response usually consists of staring confusedly at the speaker with my head cocked and saying, “Uh… not really.”

Of course, this leads to the inevitable questions which occur in no particular order:

“You don’t cook?! Why not?”

“You don’t cook. What do you eat?”

“Ah… you don’t know how, right? Burn the water too often?” (cue knowing wink)

Table Of Contents

Cooking Isn’t Necessary for Survival

First of all, as anyone who has ever lived in a college dorm (I have) or been a 20-something guy (Yes, I am stereotyping and, no, I have not been one), you don’t have to actually cook to survive. This also doesn’t necessarily mean you live off pizza bagel bites (though I have had residents do that).

Ever hear of a sandwich? Cereal? Instant oatmeal? Fruits and vegetables? Hummus? Applesauce? Popcorn?

Oh, my dears, there are ways to survive and live a fully satisfying life without whipping out a pot or mixing bowl.

I’m not opposed to cooking. Kitchen supplies don’t send me running and screaming for the nearest McDonald’s.  In fact, I competed in several cooking contests as a bright-eyed elementary school 4-Her.

No Space for Cooking

Quite honestly, my lifestyle really hasn’t provided much space (metaphorically and literally) for cooking.

Sometimes. Life. Doesn’t. Make. Space. For. It.


I’m tired of getting the impression that something is grossly wrong with me because food has not been a priority for me. My life hasn’t sucked like it should have with the cooking shortage. Sorry.

Someday I’ll…

Actually, cooking is on my wish-list of things I’ll do when “that day” happens. What a glorious day that’ll be – I’ll indulge in all kinds of exciting activities. A few of these include:

  • Going to the dentist.
  • Buying new contact lenses! (These six-monthers probably shouldn’t be going strong two years later…)
  • Buying groceries that consist of more than granola bars, almonds and cheerios.
  • Buying furniture. Cushy couch, that’s you, babe!
  • Hugging and kissing the 100+ books that have been in storage and patiently awaiting our reunion
  • Using my red teapot and polka-dotted dishes on my red kitchen table. It’s gonna be a party.
  • Figuring out what that “other life” is like, you know, the one without job applications, resumes, interviews, thank you notes, rejection letters and rejection blow-offs.
  • Getting a plant and possibly a pet. (Big and bad, baby!)

What are things that you’re not able to do right now that you’d like to do? Things on your “someday” wish list that just can’t be done quite yet because item A has to kick in?

Side Tangent: What does it mean to “cook”? Does this require using pots, utensils, Pyrex and ovens? Where’s the line between cooking and not-cooking? Honestly, I’d like to know it.   

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