Planning

Ever feel like you're not measuring up? Just not doing your part in relationships? Other priorities? Not sure that you're actually prioritizing what matters most to you? You might tell yourself any of the following: I need to be more present with my kid. We don't have date nights. What's wrong with my spouse and I? I really ought to spend more time with God. I'm a lousy Christian. I need to work-out more. And so forth. You and me both. It doesn't have to be this way, though! I'm not an expert in living the perfect life (um, look to Jesus) and cannot fix your problems (sorry!). While pursuing my imperfect life, I have learned some simple, helpful practices to focus on what matters most to me in my day-to-day life. A key practice is noting what I'm currently doing that is investing in those relationships and priorities that matter most to me. Celebrating these wins has helped me move forward and make progress on bigger goals. I hope this can help, you, too! You can live intentionally with passion and purpose as God's beloved. Celebrate Your Wins Starting Now In this post, we'll evaluate how you're focusing on your priorities. Think of this as your "celebrate the wins" activity. We'll highlight how you're currently rocking out in your life. Woohoo! In the first post, we've discussed how to figure out what matters most to you. A key tool we used throughout this post was the Relationships and Priorities Worksheet. Take a few minutes to grab the handy worksheet by popping your email address below. It should come to your inbox in a few minutes! Get your freebie! Got your worksheet ready? Your Relationships and Priorities worksheet should be filled out with the following: Innermost circle: your most important relationships and priorities Second circle: your important (but not most important) relationships and priorities Outermost circle: your good (but not important or most important) relationships and priorities Now you're ready for the next step - evaluating how you are (or are not) focusing on these key relationships and priorities. Is this even necessary? Taking 10-30 minutes to note where you are now will be a game-changer to live more intentionally. The good news? You're probably already focusing on these areas of your life more than you realize! The bad news? You're also likely not setting yourself up for success as much as you may assume you are. (That's for another post!) What the what?! I know, it's complicated. Check Your Ego, It's Gonna Be Okay This exercise is not intended to make you feel guilty or less-than. You're just noting the tangible ways that you are prioritizing what matters to you. That's it. Please don't beat yourself up for all the things you "ought to," "should to," or "meant to do." I have great respect for the past. If you don't know where you've come from, you don't know where you're going. I have respect for the past, but I'm a person of the moment. I'm here, and I do my best to be completely centered at the place I'm at, then I go forward to the next place. Maya Angelou Same thing here. If you need to, imagine that you're pulling all those icky-guilt-inducing feelings out and setting them in a box. Put the box aside where you can't see them and dive in. Those feelings aren't serving you or helping you live more intentionally. Celebrate the wins! Rather than dwelling on what you're NOT doing well, note what you've been doing that has been an investment in those key relationships and priorities. That's way more fun than self-flagellation, right? Let's Not Get Legalistic I've really struggled with how to emphasize that this is NOT about legalism. This is not about checking boxes to see what you're doing to earn love, glory, rewards, or whatever. It's really not. Relationships and priorities require your investment in order for them to grow. You can't control others and your circumstances, but you can influence them. How we spend our days is of course how we spend our lives. What we do with this hour and that one is what we are doing. Annie Dillard, The Writing Life That's what this exercise is all about - paying attention to how you're directing your time and energy. Evaluation Time: How Are You Prioritizing? Don't worry about jotting down what you want to do or think you ought to do. Just focus on what you're actively doing now. Just a warning: your worksheet may explode with writing now! Feel free to grab more paper if that will help you get more space to process your thoughts. Innermost circle: Most Important Relationships and Priorities As you look at your recorded relationships and priorities, jot down the ways that you are currently focusing on them. Let's say that one of your most important relationships is spouse or significant other. What are some ways that you are currently investing in this relationship? You might say: Daily texts Eat dinner together regularly Date nights Back rubs ... or whatever else that comes to mind That's it. Easy-peasy, right? Did other things come up that you totally forgot about? Example For instance, my husband and I text each other periodically throughout the day. We're not wordy or complicated. (I really don't want to text him about what I ate for lunch.) We text a "good morning kick-off-I-love-you" text. The rest of the day is scattered with silly emojis. It's a treat, not a burden. That has been a small (insanely easy) thing that helped us grow our relationship. Let's do the same for each of the relationships and priorities you've jotted down. Second circle: Important (But Not Most Important) Relationships and Priorities Ditto with the above. Outermost circle: Good (But Not Important or Most Important) Relationships and Priorities Rinse and repeat. Two resources to help you start incorporating these tips in your life Recapping how to evaluate what you're actually prioritizing in your life Woohoo! You did it! You identified what you're actively doing to invest in your relationships and priorities. Here's what you'll want to do: Evaluation Time: How Are You Prioritizing? Innermost circle: Most Important Relationships and Priorities Example Second circle: Important (But Not Most Important) Relationships and Priorities Outermost circle: Good (But Not Important or Most Important) Relationships and Priorities Completing this step helped my husband and I see how we were currently investing our time and energy. It was helpful to acknowledge what we were doing well before deciding what we could improve upon. The next step is identifying how you'd like to grow these relationships and priorities. In the next post, we'll identify the small, incremental tweaks you can make to live more intentionally. You can live intentionally with passion and purpose as God's beloved. I'd love to hear from you - what are some things you're doing to invest in those key relationships and priorities? Any wins you forgot to be proud about? Tell me about it in the comments!

Planning

Are You Prioritizing What Matters Most?

How to Figure Out What Matters Most to You

6 Ways to Bust Bible Study Boredom